Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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