the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
