But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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