just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Redeem this text for a blowjob
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
