Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
