do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
