Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
