im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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