im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
