so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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