Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
