and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
