It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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