I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
