this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize