I am puke
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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