its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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