So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
