He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
