your thong is hanging out like whoa
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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