should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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