Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We got so high we made milksteak
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
