she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
