Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
