oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Randomize
