He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
