My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize