THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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