ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
