right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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