I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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