do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
