He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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