Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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