Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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