She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
worst night to have a conscience
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
