my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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