WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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