did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
