is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
