Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
