I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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