he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize