her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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