This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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