Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
