5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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