i will never coherently bang her
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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