I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
