I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
