i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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