Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
