Duck Duck Cougar?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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