how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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