And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
