yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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