I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
