So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
