Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
