oh god the rape fog is back!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
