one two three fourrrrnication!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
